When “Busy” Means “Barely Interested”
You know what my least favorite word is when I’m into someone? “Busy.” God, the amount of times I’ve heard, “Sorry, I’m just super busy lately.” As if they’re curing cancer in between answering your texts. Babe, you’re not busy. You ordered a burrito and watched five episodes of *Breaking Bad* last night. I know, because I was online, too.
I know, I know. You want to give people the benefit of the doubt. “Maybe he’s just going through a tough phase!” Sis, if he’s too busy for you now, he will 100% be too busy for you when you’re his girlfriend, his almost fiancée, or even his wife. The “busy” epidemic does not discriminate. It only mutates.
Let’s do a little reality check: When you truly want to talk to someone, what do you do? You text them in the Starbucks line. You send a meme between Zoom calls. You send a 2-second “saw this and thought of you lol” DM. Literal brain surgeons can update their group chats. If he can’t answer your text for two days because he’s “slammed at work,” please. I know people with three jobs, a toddler, and shingles who still have time to flirt.
Anyone who’s ever REALLY liked someone knows: you find a way. It doesn’t have to be a three-paragraph essay every time. Sometimes it’s just a “miss you,” or a cat emoji (idk, maybe you’re a weirdo like that). The point is, there’s contact. There’s effort. There’s… you know, actual interest.
But oh, “busy.” Busy is the new “ghosting,” except more polite. It’s the “let them down easy” of our generation. You’re not the problem, babe. You’re not asking for too much when you want a good morning text or a sign that you occupy a full corner of his brain, not just a pixel. If men were graded on emotional labor, most would show up three days late, holding a handwritten doctor’s note from their mom.
Let’s get brutally honest here. “Busy” is rarely about how hectic someone’s life is. It’s about where you fall on their priority list. Ugh, yeah, it’s a punch in the ego, but it’s real. If you’re his priority, amazing. If you’re his Tuesday-afternoon-after-his-fantasy-football-draft priority? Well.
I’m not saying everyone has to drop everything for you. (If so, DM me your secrets.) But it should be consistent, not crumbs. Not, “Sorry, work’s crazy, can we raincheck?” so often that you might develop an allergy to rain. Watch out for patterns. If you’re initiating every conversation, every single time, congratulations, you’ve become his Alexa.
I’ve been there, too. Making excuses for guys who were “so busy”—only to see them post three stories at brunch with the boys. Hashtag: blessed. Hashtag: I do not exist apparently. Don’t even get me started on the ones who resurface after three weeks like, “Lol work sucked, what’s up?”
Let’s promise each other something: we’re not chasing “busy” energy. We’re not sending good morning texts to someone whose phone screen lights up and doesn’t even blink. If he wanted to, he would. No matter what TikTok therapists say, you can’t manifest effort from someone who’s rationing their attention like it’s the last piece of cake at a family reunion.
So next time you hear, “Sorry, just been really busy,” do yourself a favor—translate it honestly: “Sorry, you’re not really a priority.” Brutal? Yes. Freeing? Also yes. Drink your coffee, send your memes to someone who actually laughs, and remember: you deserve more than someone’s leftover time.
Busy is an excuse. Interest is an action. Period.
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