Stop Falling for Potential and Start Choosing Reality
You ever meet a guy and immediately start daydreaming about his “potential”? Yeah. The resume in your head sounds SO good. He could start washing his sheets. He might finally leave that dead-end job. He maybe, possibly, who knows, will definitely get therapy…one day. Meanwhile, Reality Him is sitting next to you, talking about crypto and still can’t find the clitoris. But noooo, you’re so dazzled by Version 5.0—you’re basically dating the iOS update he’ll never download.
Girl, let’s be honest: You are not a life coach who accepts kisses as payment. Unless you’re billing by the hour, scrolling through job postings for him and making him emotional vision boards, then STOP treating Project Men like fixer-uppers. HGTV lied to us. You’re not going to win a prize because you took a rusted Honda Civic of a man and turned him into a Ferrari.
Why? Because “potential” is just a fancy way to procrastinate being alone. It’s like emotional Afterpay—you get the fantasy guy now, hoping you’ll pay off the reality later. Newsflash: most of them default on that loan, sis. You’re left with overdraft fees…in your self-esteem.
Ask yourself: WHO is he, right now, today? Would you swipe right if you saw his grocery list instead of his Instagram? Would you get giddy over him if his “potential” was shipped off to a secret island, never to return? Or are you making out with a walking Pinterest mood board?
I know, I know. He’s “so sweet, deep down.” That’s why he texts you back three days late but always, miraculously, when he’s bored or horny. He “wants to try harder.” He “will open up soon.” Next season, on The Bachelor: Emotional Maturity!
Let’s stop applying for internships in men’s lives. You are not here for unpaid labor. If you want to inspire growth, buy yourself a damn houseplant. Water it with self-respect. Because watering a man’s potential with your time, energy, and emotional labor? It’s like pouring Fiji water on astroturf and expecting daisies. Not even weeds will grow there.
Real talk: Would he stick around for YOUR “potential”? Would he ride the bus with you if your glow-up isn’t ready yet? Or is he only here because you’re already showing up? Don’t let that “potential” make you the nutritional yeast to his bland vegan personality—always the add-on, never the main event.
Remember, a man who *wants* to grow, grows. All on his own. Like mold on old bread, but sexier. He doesn’t need twelve TED Talks from you and a motivational spreadsheet. And you, queen, do not need to hang around, emotionally lint rolling his problems off his sweater, so *maybe* he’ll transform into someone worthy.
Look up from the vision board. Look him in the eye. Can you love THIS man, right now, as is? Because if you can’t, you’re in love with a science-fiction character. And baby, Hollywood doesn’t cut you a check for delusions.
Don’t date his LinkedIn potential. Date his real-life actions, energy, and character. Who he is at his lowest is who he actually is. Who he might be, if Mercury goes direct and all his chakras align? That’s none of your business.
Choose your reality, babe. It’s all you ever really get. And honestly, that’s enough—for you, for love, for happiness. Because your best self isn’t hiding behind someone else’s unfinished business. She’s busy living, laughing, loving…and never waiting for someone else to keep up.
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