No More Crumb Diets, Babe
You ever been starving and someone gives you ONE Dorito? Not a bag, not even a handful. Just a lonely, limp Dorito. That’s what it’s like settling for relationship crumbs. And listen, we’ve all been there, pretending that single, sad chip somehow counts as a meal. Spoiler: it doesn’t. No matter how much you try to savor it.
So let’s get real. If you are reading this, you probably know in your soul you deserve better. But maybe you’re still locked in snack mode, convincing yourself, “At least he texts me at 1am!” or “She said I looked nice… three weeks ago.” Baby, let’s stop looking for validation like raccoons hunting dropped fries in a McDonald’s parking lot.
First major truth bomb: crumbs are not proof someone loves you. They’re actually proof they don’t. Harsh? Yes. True? Also yes. If you screenshot every half-assed “wyd” and read it like it’s Shakespeare, please log off and go touch grass. I know it feels dramatic. I know you want to believe. But crumbs never turn into cake, babe. Literally never.
So, how do you stop settling? Start by admitting you ARE. Rip off the Band-Aid. You’re not “chill,” you’re not “just going with the flow.” You’re accepting scraps because deep down you’re convinced that’s all you can get. Oof. I said it. Someone had to.
Now go stare in a mirror, dramatic-teen-movie style, and ask yourself: Would you put up with this BS from one of your friends? I’m betting: hell no. Same rules apply to you. Your loneliness does not deserve to be punished by a parade of emotionally unavailable weirdos giving you “maybe” energy. I would rather be single than stuck with a human breadcrumb machine. The bar is NOT in hell, okay?
And here’s a news flash: the more crumbs you accept, the hungrier you’ll feel. Crumbs make you obsessed, not satisfied. You get sucked into detective mode, analyzing every semi-lukewarm message, trying to build a wedding cake out of dust. Ugh, exhausting.
Also, can I just say — you KNOW when you’re being deprived? There’s always a gut feeling. You’re texting paragraphs; they reply with two-word answers. You plan dates; they hit you with “idk, we’ll see.” If someone wants to give you more, you won’t have to beg for it. Imagine chasing someone down to offer them all your love, while they just flick you a peanut once a month. Girl, no. We are not pigeons.
So, what do you do? Stop responding to crumbs. Literally, stop. Put down your phone. Pull back your energy. If they want you, really want you, they’ll suddenly remember how to act right. If not? You dodged a bullet, and you get to eat the whole damn cake yourself.
Here comes the hard bit: you can’t expect someone to treat you better than you treat yourself. Ouch, I know. But if you treat yourself like an afterthought, other people will too. Upgrade your own standards. Do something that makes you feel like the main character. Take yourself out. Stop waiting for someone else to give you permission to feel wanted.
Refuse crumbs like it’s your new religion. Picture yourself dramatically brushing them off the table, “No, thanks, I only do full-course meals.” Say it out loud if you have to. Get comfortable with wanting more, not less.
Life’s too short to be hungry and desperate. Make “crumb-free” your new vibe. You can love yourself AND still want company — but never at the cost of self-respect. Next time you catch a crumb, sweep it into the bin. You’ve officially gone gluten-free, honey. And all the good stuff is still coming. Promise.
0 Comments