Being Ignored Isn’t a Mystery — It’s a Message
Okay, let’s cut to the chase: if someone is ignoring you, it’s not because their phone fell into the Bermuda Triangle. It’s not because Mercury’s in retrograde or because they had an urgent, week-long toenail appointment. People who want to talk to you will move actual mountains (or, you know, at least move their thumbs) to reply.
And yet, I see you. I *know* you. Refreshing your messages like the world’s most loyal mail carrier. Worrying. Overanalyzing. “Maybe he’s just busy?” you say. “Maybe she didn’t see it yet?” Sure, Jan. Meanwhile, TikTok can send a rocket to Mars every ten minutes and *everyone’s* glued to their damn phones. But apparently this human forgot how to type “hey”?
I’m going to say this loud for the people in the back: **being ignored is not ambiguous.** It’s not a mind game you’re supposed to decode. It’s not “deep.” It’s not “mysterious.” (Are they Sherlock Holmes? No. They’re a grown adult with Netflix and gym selfies.)
Look, I totally get it. We are trained—especially as women—to fill in the gaps. We give people the benefit of the doubt until it’s basically a charity. “Oh, maybe he’s scared of his feelings.” LOL. Or my personal classic: “She’s probably intimidated by my vibe.” Maybe. Or maybe, and hear me out, they just aren’t as invested as you deserve. Ouch, right? But someone had to say it.
Let’s talk self-respect for a hot second. Do you really want to sit around guessing if you’ve become invisible? That’s not hot, babe. That’s not sexy. The hottest thing you can do after being ignored is… drum roll… stop responding emotionally at all. Because someone’s lack of effort is your 100% certified, government-stamped sign to stop giving a shit.
I used to be *queen* of spin. You know, “He must be busy, he’s probably thinking of me but doesn’t want to overwhelm me with texts.” OMG, cringe. I wish I could go back and shake myself. Reality: if they like you, you’d know. He’d be texting you while peeing in a public restroom. She would send memes at 2 a.m. No memo required.
Here’s the brutal (but freeing!) truth: people make time for the things, and people, they care about. No exceptions. Kim Kardashian has four kids, five jobs, and still answers her group chats. So Chad from Hinge has no excuse. Sorry, Chad.
The moment you realize being ignored is *literally* a message—like, the message is “I am not prioritizing you right now”—something shifts. You stop begging the universe for a “sign” and actually listen to the very loud silence you’re receiving. Silence is an answer. It’s just not the answer your ego wanted.
So what do you do? You don’t chase. You don’t triple-double text. Do not—under ANY circumstances—send a “?” unless you’re asking Siri for the weather. You grieve for three minutes if you must. Wipe your mascara. Then you *swivel* your energy to the people who actually light up when you walk into the group chat. You spend your time on people who make space for your bright, complicated, ridiculous self.
Repeat after me: “If you’re ignoring me, you are losing me.” You become the plot twist, babe. Not the lost puppy.
Being ignored is not a mystery. It’s the universe slapping you with a message. Read it—and then move the hell on. 👋
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