When “Busy” Means “Barely Interested”
Oh, “I’ve just been really busy.” Babe, how many times have you heard that one? Honestly, if women got paid for every time a man used the word “busy” as an excuse, we’d have enough cash for that “leave him” vacation to Mykonos, okay?
Let’s be clear: We’re all busy. We have jobs. We have group chats to keep up with, a thousand tabs open in our brains, Target trips, existential crises. Girl, the only person who isn’t busy is my dog, and even he’s booked and blessed between nap times and barking at leaf shadows.
So when a guy tells you he’s “been busy,” translation: he’s saying, “I haven’t made you a priority.” Not because he’s running Google or building Ikea furniture for orphans. Just…because he doesn’t *want* to.
Ugh, I know, it stings. Why? Because we love to believe people are as considerate as we are. We’ll text “good morning!” and “how was your day?” and immediately interpret their vague, dry responses as temporary, right? “Maybe he’s going through it.” Maybe. But also maybe he just can’t be arsed.
Let’s play it out: If he *wanted* to talk to you, he would. People have their phones glued to their hands like it’s an extra organ. You think he isn’t seeing your texts? Please. Half of us answer memes about Ariana Grande’s eyebrows within 0.5 seconds, and he can’t even send a “what’s up?” You know better, bestie.
You can send a cute selfie. You can be supportive. You can even lower your standards (which, why the hell should we?!), and still—crickets. Yet the second *he* wants to see you, suddenly he’s a scheduling wizard. Big surprise.
Here’s what girls don’t want to admit: Being told, “I’m busy,” is low-key a favor. Those two words? They translate to: “Don’t hold your breath, babe. I have no plans to change.” So why are you waiting around like it’s an episode of The Bachelor? Respectfully, he’s not confused, he’s just not that into you. (And now you hate me, I know. Still true.)
Now, I hear the girls who’ll say, “But he works long hours!” Look, I get it. But if Jay-Z can find time for Beyoncé—and Blue, and the twins, and a billion-dollar empire—then your situationship can take three seconds to answer. I mean, we all know if Chris Evans DM’d him, he’d find his phone real fast.
Here’s some real talk: Do not romanticize being on someone’s “To Do” list. I mean, are you the groceries? A dentist appointment? Is he going to finally text you after his oil change? Sis, he should WANT to talk to you. Simple as that.
Want the truth? You will never be “too much” for someone who actually wants you. The “busy” excuse is just diet rejection, and I, for one, am cutting carbs.
So what do you do? You stop explaining yourself. You stop doubling down on your “just checking in” texts. You stop waiting. Cancel the audition, babe, the part’s already been cast to “not you.” (But don’t worry, it’s a trash role anyway.)
Reclaim your time and your sanity. Shift your energy from waiting on his half-assed messages to doing literally anything else. Start gobbling up your own love, baby, because you are NOT the discount item in someone’s shopping cart.
And next time someone says “I’ve just been busy,” you say, “Same.” Then disappear. Because being unavailable to people who can’t appreciate you? Icon behavior.
Repeat after me: Busy? Or just not that interested? Girl, you already know the answer. Let’s stop pretending it’s harder than it is.
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