You’re Not Hard to Love — He’s Just Emotionally Unavailable

You’re Not Hard to Love — He’s Just Emotionally Unavailable

Let’s get one thing straight right now: you are not “too much.” You are not “difficult.” You don’t need to “rein it in” so this man-child can finally text you back without making you feel like you’re asking for the world.

I know what you’re doing. You’re having those 2 a.m. scroll-through-their-Insta moments, panicking over whether you liked too many of his stories last week. You’re re-reading that message you sent three hours ago—was that too needy? OMG, why did I use a heart emoji? Did I just declare my undying love with a cartoon heart?

Stop. Right. Now.

Look, if you’re having to strategize your affections like you’re plotting a bank heist, that’s your first sign. The problem is not that you’re difficult to love. The problem is that he’s emotionally constipated. Seriously. Some men have the emotional range of a baked potato, and for some reason, society keeps passing you the bill for it. Ugh.

Let’s talk about the “emotionally unavailable” guy. You know the one: he’s allergic to vulnerability, flinches if you mention feelings, and every time you try to get closer, he does the human equivalent of ghosting—texting back but with the emotional warmth of a Roomba.

Spoiler alert: you could be Gigi Hadid crossed with the Dalai Lama and Beyoncé’s bank account, and he’d *still* find a way to make connection feel impossible. It’s not you. It’s not your laugh. It’s not because you went out with your friends “too much” or sent a meme at the wrong hour. It’s him, babe. Him and his internal fortress of doom.

Let’s be real. We’ve all done the “cool girl” hostage negotiation. Maybe if I don’t ask for anything, if I’m super chill, if I’m “not like other girls”—he’ll suddenly want to open up and, you know, treat me like an actual partner. Cue the clown music. Honestly, if dramatic self-abandonment was an Olympic sport, we’d all have at least one medal.

But you know what you *never* see? An emotionally unavailable guy suddenly waking up at 7 a.m., slapping his forehead, and going, “Damn, Karen really *did* deserve better than my 1 a.m. texts and trauma-dumping. I must become a loving, secure partner. Let me text her right now and apologize for my inability to process human emotion.” LOL.

The uncomfortable truth that no one tells you: this usually isn’t about you at all. It’s about what’s going on in his head, his heart, and probably his childhood therapy sessions that you’ll never get an invite to. You can be sun, moon, and avocado toast. If he’s not emotionally available, he’s just going to squint at the brightness and complain that he wanted eggs instead.

So, next time you catch yourself spiraling—should I be quieter? Should I text less? Should I act like I don’t care when I actually do?—please, for the love of all that is holy, remember: You. Are. Lovable. Messy, glorious, opinionated, passionate, *you*. The right person will be thrilled by all of it, not intimidated.

If loving you feels like running an obstacle course for him, let him jog right out of your life. Don’t shrink for anyone’s emotional laziness. You are not “hard to love,” babe. You are *impossible* to ignore for the right man.

So, put down your phone, go eat something delicious, and stop pretending you’re too much. The truth is, for the wrong guy, you’ll always be too much. For the right one? You’ll never be enough. And that, my friend, is exactly how it should be.