Attention vs. Affection: Stop Falling for Breadcrumbs
Let’s just get this out of the way: not every guy who texts you good morning wants to love you. Shocking, I know. Sometimes, it’s just him making sure you remember his existence—like a dog peeing on a tree so no one else sniffs you.
Attention is not affection. Say it with me. Let it roll off your tongue and into your brain. Because for the love of oat milk lattes, we keep confusing the two and then wonder why our heart feels like it’s been through a cheese grater.
He likes your story on Instagram? That’s attention. He sends you reels at 3am? Also attention. He asks “wyd” three weeks after ghosting you? That’s like, Dollar Tree attention. Not affection, babe.
Affection is when someone checks if you’re home safe. Remembers your favorite ice cream flavor *without* you posting it. Wants to talk to you on Wednesday because it’s Wednesday, not because he’s bored. Affection is a verb, attention is a button. One takes effort. One takes… well, WiFi.
But let’s be honest: sometimes, we eat up attention like it’s the last curly fry at the bottom of the bag. It feels good. It’s validation with a side order of hope. You get that little serotonin hit because someone noticed you. Ugh—now you’re spiraling, overanalyzing, and telling your bestie about his “hidden depths” because he put a heart on your selfie.
Girl, please.
Attention is currency in the trash economy of modern dating. Everybody’s offering discounts. A little flame emoji, a half-dead conversation, a random meme when they sense you pulling back. He doesn’t want to lose you, but also isn’t lining up to love you. That’s not love, that’s just keeping you in his digital harem of “maybes.”
Affection is scarce. Affection is your mom texting you to wear sunscreen even though you’re 33. It’s someone caring about your day, your dog, your irrational fear of escalators. You can’t fake affection. Trust me, people try, and it smells weird. Like Axe body spray mixed with broken promises.
So why does all this matter? Because *attention* is like drinking water with a hole in your cup. Sure, you feel quenched for a minute, but you’re still dying of thirst. You want love but settle for likes. You want connection but settle for consistency in someone’s breadcrumb schedule.
Meanwhile, affection? That’s the good stuff. That’s the reason you’re not supposed to text your ex when you’re sad. Affection is why your best friend’s hug feels like a reset button and why you’re still hoping for that instead of another “u up?” text.
The truth is, attention is easy. Literally anyone with fingers and WiFi can give it to you. Affection takes guts. Vulnerability. Actually giving a damn whether you’re happy or not.
So before you fall into bed (or worse, into hope) with someone who can barely form a coherent sentence, ask yourself: is this attention, or is this affection? And don’t get it twisted just because your phone dings. We are not pigeons.
From now on, don’t be that girl who lets herself be pacified with crumbs. Raise your standards. Demand affection, not just attention. And if he doesn’t know the difference, tell him to enjoy the single life—ahead of schedule.
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