Stop Explaining Your Heart to Someone Who Speaks Ego
Honestly, are your thumbs sore yet? Because you’ve basically penned the next “War and Peace” over WhatsApp, trying to make someone understand something they literally *cannot* compute. It’s like teaching calculus to your house plants. The fern doesn’t care, babe.
Let’s just call it. If you have to keep explaining your feelings, your needs, your value—to someone who only ever hears about *their* needs and *their* value—then congratulations, you’re dating a one-man audience at their own TED Talk. You want love. They want applause.
And it is EXHAUSTING.
Here’s the ugly truth. You can unpack your feelings, draw them a diagram, send voice notes that borderline on Oscar-worthy monologues, and still… nothing. They blink at you like you’ve just confessed you’re a lizard. You’re there, raw and vulnerable, chest cracked open, and all they’re doing is checking their reflection in their phone screen.
You know what’s even more wild? The harder you try to get through, the more you shrink. He gets bigger—oh, the drama of how hard it is for HIM, the confusion, the not-knowing! Meanwhile, you’re doing backflips just to prove you’re not crazy for wanting affection or commitment or literally just a text back.
Like, would it KILL you to just listen? Spoiler: For Mr. Ego, yes. It might be fatal.
We’re taught to be “understanding.” To explain ourselves, over and over. Like, maybe if you just find the perfect words, he’ll finally get it, respect you, maybe even *care* about your feelings. Babe, newsflash. His ego is noise-canceling headphones for empathy. He only tunes in when it’s about him. Everything else is elevator music.
You can unpack your soul all day. Won’t change a thing. Nothing makes you feel more alone than having to translate your heart to someone who thinks every conversation is a mirror.
Let me be blunt, because you need to hear this (and save your thumbs): It is not YOUR JOB to make someone care. You cannot make someone see you by shrinking, performing, or explaining until you’re blue in the face. Stop standing on your emotional tiptoes so someone who refuses to see you can maybe, *maybe*, glance over your head for two seconds before it’s back to MeTV.
Stop writing essays that start with “I just feel like…” Stop rehearsing your lines like it’s opening night at Sad Bitch Theater. He gets it. He just doesn’t care. Not enough to change. Not enough to lean in and listen. Definitely not enough to try harder.
And honestly? Let’s make peace with this part: Some people don’t speak the language of your heart. They just don’t. Ego is a loud mother. The only thing louder is self-preservation—and honey, that’s your cue.
Save your words for someone who gets it. Someone who asks how you *feel* and actually listens to the answer. Someone who doesn’t need everything to be a damn negotiation for attention. Leave Mr. Ego to talk to his own reflection.
You deserve rapport, not rebuttals. Love that feels safe, not like a linguistic wrestling match. Texting should not require an emotional translator app. Imagine using all that energy for something better—like romanticizing your own life, rather than micro-explaining your own heartbreak.
Next time you’re in the middle of the same old conversation, stop. Put the phone down. Go outside, touch grass, remind yourself what real feels like. You’re not asking for too much—you’re just talking to someone who can’t hear you over the sound of their own importance.
Ego speaks noise. Your heart speaks truth. Don’t waste another minute translating.
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